So, last week, I asked everyone I encountered to tell me what he or she felt the worst pop song ever recorded was. Several songs came up repeatedly and, once I had five really bad songs to choose from, I asked people to pick the worst. The criteria were two-fold: the song had to have terrible lyrics and it had to have been sung terribly. I only considered songs that most everyone had heard and could more or less remember. Trying to come up with terrible songs proved to be a lot of fun although both my husband and my sister kept begging me to stop—they felt it was a sort of torture to have these songs wedged into their heads.
The five songs that made the short list of the worst pop song ever were:
Midnight at the Oasis by Maria Muldaur
Muskrat Love by the Captain & Tennille
Mandy by Barry Manilow
Loving You is Easy ‘Cause You’re Beautiful by Minnie Ripperton
Tie a Yellow Ribbon by Tony Orlando and Dawn
The winner—the loser song picked most often as the worst—was Muskrat Love by the Captain and Tennille. (The song was originally written and recorded by America, but was covered by the C and T.) It won due to its dreadful lyrics and complete unsingability. Loving You is Easy came in a close second and I have had to promise several people I won’t sing the lalalalala lalalalala lalalalalalalala doobiedoobiedoodo chorus to them ever again.
I am sure that there is a worse song out there somewhere (and if you know of one, let me know) but for now, Muskrat Suzy and Muskrat Sam’s lover’s tale is the worst pop song I know. Any song that brings to mind group muskrat sex is just wrong.