So, last week, I asked everyone I encountered to tell me what he or she felt the worst pop song ever recorded was. Several songs came up repeatedly and, once I had five really bad songs to choose from, I asked people to pick the worst. The criteria were two-fold: the song had to have terrible lyrics and it had to have been sung terribly. I only considered songs that most everyone had heard and could more or less remember. Trying to come up with terrible songs proved to be a lot of fun although both my husband and my sister kept begging me to stop—they felt it was a sort of torture to have these songs wedged into their heads.
The five songs that made the short list of the worst pop song ever were:
Midnight at the Oasis by Maria Muldaur
Muskrat Love by the Captain & Tennille
Mandy by Barry Manilow
Loving You is Easy ‘Cause You’re Beautiful by Minnie Ripperton
Tie a Yellow Ribbon by Tony Orlando and Dawn
The winner—the loser song picked most often as the worst—was Muskrat Love by the Captain and Tennille. (The song was originally written and recorded by America, but was covered by the C and T.) It won due to its dreadful lyrics and complete unsingability. Loving You is Easy came in a close second and I have had to promise several people I won’t sing the lalalalala lalalalala lalalalalalalala doobiedoobiedoodo chorus to them ever again.
I am sure that there is a worse song out there somewhere (and if you know of one, let me know) but for now, Muskrat Suzy and Muskrat Sam’s lover’s tale is the worst pop song I know. Any song that brings to mind group muskrat sex is just wrong.
2 comments:
Hi Dabney. Hope you had a good summer.
I too remember some of the silly lyrics and bad music from our youth. There are two comments about Muskrat Love that are perhaps not apparent to the casual listener. The first is the historical significance of the muskrat, especially to French Canadian settlers in the Detroit River Valley area. In addition to pelts, muskrat were also a source of food. A traditional story (perhaps based on fact) is that the Catholic French Canadians petitioned the Vatican to allow the consumption of muskrat as fish on Fridays, a day of avoidance of meat. The association of the muskrat with French heritage is perhaps no greater anywhere than in my home town of Monroe, Michigan (formerly Frenchtown). The Monroe Yacht Club's annual muskrat dinner is a tradition that continues to this day. There were several restaurants in the area that served muskrat when I was there and perhaps still might. However, I can not say that I know what it tastes like for as a relative used to say, "We are from the branch of the French that knew enough not to eat rats." The town is now using it as a mascot (and this).
So, at least for some of us, the topic of muskrat love was not much of a stretch from the ordinary.
The second comment relates to imagery. Although the lyrics are silly, they are not overtly obscene or downright disgusting as some more recent song lyrics have been. Both for myself and my children, I prefer silly to raunchy. As for the music, well, what do you expect for muskrats?
Mike
My sister-in-law, Lee, has added "Do You Know Where You're Going To?" which is the theme from the Diana Ross movie "Mahogany."
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